I have a major question

Dear Confused,

I am so proud of you for asking for help with this very big issue in your life. I pray that the answers you read here will touch your heart to decide to honor God with your body and your whole life. There are a lot of verses in the Bible about what you are dealing with.

God is very clear on the subject. He commanded us in Exodus 20:14, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” Adultery is anyone having sex without being first married to each other. Now before you say that is outdated because the 10 commandments are so old, Jesus said it, too. In Matthew 5:27-28, Jesus said, “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” This applies to girls, too. Jesus took it a step further and said, yes, don’t have sex with someone you’re not married to (committing adultery), and even more, don’t even think about it! Wow! Hebrews 11:25 tells us that sin is only pleasurable for a season. Have you ever heard the phrase, “If it feels good, do it” ? This way of thinking is a trap that Satan wants to hurt you with. 1 Peter 5:8 says, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.” The devil, Satan, wants to destroy all people. He wants to trap us in sin that seems fun and exciting at first until we are hooked, but it always hurts us in the end. But the rules that God gives us are always for our benefit, for our safety and well-being. Have you ever heard a mother say to her small child, “Don’t touch that! It’s hot!” Is this mother just trying to be mean and make life no fun? Of course not; she is trying to keep her baby safe and free from pain. It is the same with God, our heavenly Father. When He says, “Don’t commit adultery,” He says it because he knows the heartache that is attached to it--feeling used and cheap, not saving yourself for your future husband, sexually transmitted diseases for life, death (if you get AIDS),pregnancy, being a single parent. There is another huge heartache that Isaiah 59 tells us about, “But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear.” Our sin actually separates us from God. He is holy and he cannot be with sin. I encourage you to read the section on the home page titled What Must I Do To Be Saved? You need to know if you are saved or not. If you aren’t, I pray your heart will be open to needing to be saved. If you are saved, sin still separates you from God. You can’t knowingly and continually sin and be okay with God.

Instead of choosing to sin by having sex with your boyfriend, I encourage you to follow the advice in 2 Timothy 2:22, “Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” I encourage you to get a Bible and read John chapter 15 that talks about staying connected to Jesus and therefore having peace in your heart. Philippians 4:8 says, “whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” When you do and think this way--honestly, purely--you will have peace instead of pain in your life. Also, if you fill your life with good things (not music, movies, and friends that encourage you to have sex and do other sinful things), it will be easier to obey God. See, although Satan wants to destroy you, God has a different plan for your life. His plan for sex is found in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” God wants men and women to save themselves until they have married their mate and then have wonderful sex within the safety of marriage. Then it will be blessed by God and a thing of joy, not pain and heartache.

Last of all, if God has persuaded you to listen and obey Him in this area, then be practical and don’t put yourself in danger to sin. Instead of being alone with your boyfriend in the house or when you go out, go out with other friends or couples and make a rule with each other that you won’t be alone in the house or parked vehicle together. Always have a plan for your dates and follow that plan. When your movie or meal or whatever is over, the date is over. If you just want to hang out at home, make sure you are in the kitchen or living room or some other visible place with a parent and never go in the bedroom or bathroom together. If your boyfriend ever does start pressuring you or is not willing to do what it takes to keep from being tempted to sin, is he really the kind of guy you want to be with? Would you rather be with someone who loves you so much, he puts your health and happiness before his own selfish sinful desires or someone only concerned with only himself?

Please let me pray to the One who cares for you the most.

Dear Lord Jesus,

I pray that this girl is no longer confused. I pray your words have touched her heart so that she will know what’s right and choose to obey you, knowing that this will give her true happiness and keep her free from the pain of sin. I pray that if she is not saved that she will confess her sin and accept you as God’s Son who died on the cross for her sins and be saved. Then, Lord, I pray that she will love you with all her heart, soul, and mind. I pray that you would help her to fill her life with things that are pleasing to you and teach her about true peace and joy found in you. I pray that she will be brave and talk with her boyfriend about boundaries to keep them from being alone together and therefore safer from the temptation to sin. I pray when she is tempted to sin, that she would flee the situation and know that she can do it with you giving her strength. I pray she would know how much you love her and that you have a wonderful plan for her life.

I ask all of this in the powerful name of Jesus. Amen.